Sunday, January 16, 2011

Obession.

Things to hide and nothing to offer. These scars tell no lies.. There's a story behind each but no trust to relinquish them. Scared of everything and nothing. Get close and she runs. A whirlwind of feelings and don't know how to take in each one. A hopeless romantic in a sense and a hard shell to crack to find that person. Three years left alone to grow and fell better. Finding that loneliness is somewhat of a friend and a foe. Growing comfortable with life and uneasy at the same time. Five steps forward and 3 steps back. A tug of war and I am my worst enemy. Strength in reason. I am the strongest they say they know but when the shell is cracked what is left? Maybe too afraid to see what lays below sea level.

Push. Push. Hush....

Spin cycle. Stop button. Wish for a second I would not push the stop button. So relaxed and free spirited but still trying to break down the wall of hesitation. Heart on sleeve. Cover blown. Coward down. Obsession. The pain is needed to write. Such a drug. I am the addict. Realizing I am causing my own pain and seeing something in someone that isn't there. Who's the new flavor of the week? How can I make myself like you only to make myself upset with you. Can't hold the hand of another till she releases the drug from her brain.

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